just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
