you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Randomize
