I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
