I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
