Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
