my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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