Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
