I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
In America we eat man semen.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
The adults are the big ones right?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
