I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
