Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
