I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
