i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
