So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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