He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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