so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
