I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
