Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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