Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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