she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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