you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
