No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
