Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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