i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
