She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Randomize
