the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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