No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
