We named our party play list daddy issues
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
