nut hugger
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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