I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
So much rum. So many feels.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
