it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I need to stop coming to work sober
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Terrible idea I love it
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
