Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
