Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
