i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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