I want to make a zoo with you.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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