using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
