Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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