If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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