I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
