So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
