"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
