I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
