those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Is Oprah even human
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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