i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
