I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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