I bet he comes in French.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Randomize
