No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
