Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
