i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I'm always down for nudity.
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