smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
this is an emotional support booty call
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
