Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I want to walk on stilts...naked
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
birth control should be required to get into college
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
