guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
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