Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
If its not for food we ain't going out.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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