her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
