there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Randomize
